Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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