Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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