WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
