i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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