You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He shit in the fireplace
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
