The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
