Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
