I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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