new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
