I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
