One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
