I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
