Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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