You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
