So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
