a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
