Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
