Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
