Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
