I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
