I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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