.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
