She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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