so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
