I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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