My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
