My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
