I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
