That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
