I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
