The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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