You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize