Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
