I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
