Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
pray to the hookup gods
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
