I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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