I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
