We won't sleep together?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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