even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize