Pants 0. Shit 1.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
