Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize