If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
