Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
