Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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