these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Drake has all the answers
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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