Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
