i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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