i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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