Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
