their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I could fuck to npr.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
