If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
