We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
