also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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