I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
two words...techno handjob
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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