OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
